What They Don’t Tell You About Jury Duty

February 6th, 2008 by Kelly

So - I have performed my civic duty, at least for a year.

On Monday morning, I got up and instead of my school morning ritual, which consists of throwing on sweats, brushing my teeth, starting the coffee pot, feeding the cats, scooping the litter, getting the paper, making the kids’ lunches (yes, I washed my hands!), getting one child after another up, making breakfasts, brushing my daughter’s hair, inspecting teeth for negligent brushing, packing backpacks (Don’t forget that mid-morning snack! Avoid peanut butter, as it’s on the allergy list in one classroom, but not another!), walking three separate times to the bus top after finding hats and mittens and boots and coats, and then hop in the car to jog before the track gets too busy….

Whew. Didn’t know how my morning routine stacked up! OK - so INSTEAD of that, I got to hop in the shower and hit the road before 7 a.m. to drive to the south side of Chicago, to the Cook County Circuit Court. It almost reads like a vacation from reality, but now that I’ve lived it, I’ll take the insanity of real life. Here’s what you should know if you’re ever called to duty - and that’s what the judge calls it, so if you try to get excused by calling your scheduled manicure a “procedure,” you’re likely to be the first one sat on a panel.

* It took me more than two hours to get to 26th and California by 9:30 a.m., park the mini-van in a loosely maintained parking garage and make my way across the street to court. My advice? Take off your coat for the drive - it’s a doozy.
* Be prepared for the metal detector, a pat down, and not a single smile from the security on duty. It’s not personal, and I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t smile, either.
* The summons and web site info says “no food” allowed. Do yourself a favor, eat some breakfast and pack a lunch. The jury room administrator does allow food, and I wished I had some, seeing as my breakfast ended up being a bag of Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles. That was followed up by waiting in line at the “snack shop” along with 50 other people for the privilege of buying the worst.hot.dog.ever.
* The summons and web site also say no music devices. Bring your iPod. You’ll need it. There are a couple of TVs, but very, very little to watch on network TV. If you’re an avid reader, this is like a bonus day for you - enjoy it!
* Dress lightly. It’s hotter than Hades in that building.
* Practice a straight face. You’re not allowed to show emotion in the courtroom, and you’ll need every ounce of willpower not to guffaw out loud at some of the boneheaded things people will say to try to get out of jury duty, or to prevent yourself from screaming when you can no longer stand sitting next to a guy who’s rocking back and forth like Rain Man for two-and-a-half hours.

I was extremely lucky in that I was not selected for the final jury, and yet somehow sad that I had to endure listening to some pretty horrific charges of an assault against a woman, and was not able to see the case through. I think the saddest moment for me was when the judge asked us if anyone heard about the crime, read about it in the paper, etc., and that out of 57 people, not a single person answered “yes.” I’m not sure if that means we live in a city large enough that rape is no longer newsworthy, or that we’ve all become so numb to crime that none of us really tune in anymore to anyone else’s pain, but regardless, it’s disturbing.

And while I may sound cranky about the experience, I will say that I am proud I went and did my duty. I believe in the system, and heaven forbid if I ever require it, I want it to work for me. Jury duty isn’t something to try to “get out of,” it’s something to stand up and do. I do hope I get the chance to go back some day. Just maybe a little closer to home. and with a better snack shop.

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