Thinking Things Through - March 2008

THINKING THINGS THROUGH
March 2008

Saying no . . . politely and effectively.

What’s the best way to say NO?

Voice mail RSVP to a party invitation:

“Thank you so much for including me. While I appreciate the invitation, I will not be able to attend. I look forward to seeing you at another time!”

Reply to an e-mail request from a colleague

asking me to purchase candy her son is selling:

“Thanks for thinking of me, and even offering to deliver the candy! Although I am not able to contribute at this time, please don't hesitate to make a request in the future.”

Response to a verbal request to walk a dog

for a neighbor who has broken arm:

“There are many ways I can and absolutely will assist your mother during her recovery—though my work schedule will not allow me to walk her dog. In addition—and I hope you understand—I’m just not a “dog person.”

Diane Grigg: Speaker/Coach/Mediator
Sometimes we need help “thinking things through.”
Telephone 847-965-8970
www.dianegrigg.com

For most people, it’s tough to say no to a request, an invitation, and sometimes an instruction or a demand. When we say yes in the pressure of the moment, we are often angry or irritated with ourselves—and others. When we shy away from speaking up we cause ourselves unnecessary anguish; when we fail to promptly respond we leave others wondering what we’re thinking and what we’re doing.

Yet if we take time to consider what has been presented to us—assessing all the circumstances and people involved—we can make good decisions and then clearly and compassionately communicate those decisions. In taking this course (which does require practice), we care for ourselves and we preserve or enhance our relationships with others.

Beyond politely responding to the question “Will you do me a favor?” with “If you tell me what it is, I’ll be happy to let you know,” these are the guidelines that help me respond to others . . . with ease!

Create and maintain open, communicative, empathic relationships.
Say “yes” with spirit and joy whenever you can!
Ask for additional information or time to ponder a request.
Consider all aspects of the situation and all the people involved, and then respond promptly.
Say thank you.
Decline honestly and gracefully
Keep the door open for future connections.

Let me know when you’d like help practicing your ability to respond effectively.

Diane Grigg: Speaker/Coach/Mediator
Telephone 847-965-8970
www.dianegrigg.com