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Tuesday February 07, 2012

Thinking Things Through - Sept-Oct 2008

THINKING THINGS THROUGH
September 2008

Feedback: Powerful Stuff

Audrey—a very dear and long-time friend—provided valuable feedback about my July-August column (“Weather and Life”)—and I almost missed it!
       “I really liked this article,” Audrey wrote “ . . . it was more human.”

The first part of the e-mail message was easy to accept. Who among us does not like compliments? Yet the last four words left me teetering—and I started making a mental list of all the ways that everything I write has a “human” focus. Ah yes, that common human reaction: defensiveness.

Too often, when we are provided with information that does not coincide with our thinking, we want to shield ourselves, protect ourselves! Yet when we take that course, we give up a lot. We give up the opportunity to be wiser; to form more educated opinions. We give up the opportunity to grow and change.

Feedback is “inside” information that can play a powerful, important role in our lives . . . and we should always give it consideration. So after I took a big deep breath and set aside my defenses, I appealed for details from Audrey. The payoff was big; the learning invaluable.

" . . . Now to my comment about ‘human.’ I might identify ‘human’ with ‘down to earth.’ Less authoritative. Even the mention of your mother makes the article more human. I feel it makes you closer to your reader. I think sometimes when we are predisposed to teaching, we forget to add humor and warmth, rather than just give out information. I felt much more a wanted reader with this issue.”

It’s true—I am “predisposed to teaching”—though I don’t often describe myself in that way . . . and I am confident I can sound authoritative. Because of Audrey’s feedback, warmth and humor now hold a prominent place on my writing checklist. And there’s more!

This experience reminded me how often I have been enlightened by astute observations from clients and strengthened by powerful questions from friends. The eyes of others, I continue to learn, are ones we cannot live without.

Diane Grigg: Speaker/Coach/Mediator
Telephone 847-965-8970
www.dianegrigg.com

“Feedback: Powerful Stuff” (Copyright 2008 Diane C. Grigg)